It turns out I am eligible for a partial EDD claim. I filed. I filled out multiple forms. My dear friends in HR completely botched their part and I had to start all over again. Lost a week of benefits. Then I get a letter saying I have a telephone interview. Isn't that sort of like getting a telegram* that you’re going to get a letter? They couldn't just ask me the questions on a form? They want to hear the inflection in my voice to see if I'm falsifying information? Are they that good? Then I remember they are just state employees, and I snap out of my paranoia.
The call is scheduled for 10AM and a very nice lady calls right on time. After exchanging pleasantries, we get down to the matter at hand. I will now translate the call:
EDD Lady: "On your last form you wrote you were available for work, but didn't look for work."
Translation: "You're an idiot, never check 'No' on any of our forms."
Me: "Well, in your handbook it says if I accept an appointment at my same employer I don't have to job search."
Translation: "I tried to follow your logic and failed, obviously."
EDD Lady: "No, you still have to look for work. You did right?"
Translation: "Throw me a bone here....just say 'yes.'"
Me: "Oh yes, I have my resume out everywhere. I misunderstood."
Translation: "Never check 'No,' never check 'No'..."
EDD Lady: "Oh, good. I thought that was what you meant. I'll reinstate your benefits."
Translation: "We're never going to do that again, are we?"
And all is well with the world once again.
*For you 20-somethings: a telegram was the precursor to email. It was as close to an IM as we could get. You'd go to a Western Union and tell the man...yes, Western Union didn't always JUST send money...oh forget it.