Monday, December 7, 2009

EDD Non-Cents

It turns out I am eligible for a partial EDD claim. I filed. I filled out multiple forms. My dear friends in HR completely botched their part and I had to start all over again. Lost a week of benefits. Then I get a letter saying I have a telephone interview. Isn't that sort of like getting a telegram* that you’re going to get a letter? They couldn't just ask me the questions on a form? They want to hear the inflection in my voice to see if I'm falsifying information? Are they that good? Then I remember they are just state employees, and I snap out of my paranoia.

The call is scheduled for 10AM and a very nice lady calls right on time. After exchanging pleasantries, we get down to the matter at hand. I will now translate the call:

EDD Lady: "On your last form you wrote you were available for work, but didn't look for work."
Translation: "You're an idiot, never check 'No' on any of our forms."

Me: "Well, in your handbook it says if I accept an appointment at my same employer I don't have to job search."
Translation: "I tried to follow your logic and failed, obviously."

EDD Lady: "No, you still have to look for work. You did right?"
Translation: "Throw me a bone here....just say 'yes.'"

Me: "Oh yes, I have my resume out everywhere. I misunderstood."
Translation: "Never check 'No,' never check 'No'..."

EDD Lady: "Oh, good. I thought that was what you meant. I'll reinstate your benefits."
Translation: "We're never going to do that again, are we?"

And all is well with the world once again.

*For you 20-somethings: a telegram was the precursor to email. It was as close to an IM as we could get. You'd go to a Western Union and tell the man...yes, Western Union didn't always JUST send money...oh forget it.


RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Great post. Glad the caller fed you what you were supposed to say. The whole process is pretty ridiculous.

Kristy said...

Leave it to HR to drop the ball... guess it's universal!

Zaphodikus said...

It's always a mistake to not read any form through twice before even picking up a pen. I normally have someone review any document I fill out; better still get someone else to fill it out for you.

Caroline Bender said...

I think of my weekly claim as a kind of catechism. I looked for work, I was available for work, I did not work.
Translation: Please give me my entire entitlement and let me handle it from here...

The Queen said...

I loved the explanation of a telegram.. I actually understood it.. ha ha.. made me giggle snort a bit..

teddy bear said...

You nearly missed it there.. she really needed you to say the right words, otherwise she would have had a whole lot more work to do!