Bruce Lee Would be Proud

Thursday,  6 days left

I spend the day dutifully preparing my "portfolio" and researching the items I was given for the impromptu/prepared talk. I felt like I was back in grade school participating in a scavenger hunt. "Excuse me, do you happen to have a paper clip, one blue sock, and a pickle?" But, as I am gathering this mindless drivel I take look at the items I have put in my portfolio pocket. I, in fact, had a hard time choosing only two samples of original printed materials and the two I chose were damn good. I no longer had access to some of my written correspondence so I faked two, which took me all of five minutes. My resume, which has finally reached two pages out of necessity (this happens when you've worked in one industry for 20 cough, cough years) is pretty impressive. Unlike the first interview ("Interview with the Devil," 10/2), I am not only prepared for this, I'm loaded for bear.


She calls a third time to say that she has to move the interview again because she has to respect the schedules of all the committee members. In other words, they don't respect mine. "Not a problem." I say, my steely gaze wasted over the phone. Bring it.

That evening at 8PM, despite the fact that she has previously always called me on the phone, she emails and changes it again. Ooooh, will I see it? Or will I miss it and be an hour late? I serpentine around my PC in my home office. Not on my watch, Missy! I wait until close to midnight to reply back to the email. "Great! I'll see you then!" I swear to God, if I had a black ninja suit I would have had it on when I hit the send button.

Interview with the Devil

Friday, 18 days to go

I finally got called for an interview! My normal M.O. here would be to research the position and the company, practice my patter and rehearse a few answers . I begin to realize this isn't going to be as easy as it looks. The truth is, I have never been out of work in my life. In fact, within my family I have quite the reputation for gaining employment. On my first summer vacation in college I moved to a resort town to work. Within a few days, I managed to lose the job that had gotten me there in the first place. I cried, walked down the street and was working that afternoon in a burger joint that paid more. I was a legend.

It occurs to me that for the first time in my life I am looking for work when (a) I didn't plan on doing it, nor was it my idea, (b) I don't really want to leave my job and (c) I'm actually desperate. This is not a good combination for job seekers. Not to mention, my self esteem has taken quite a beating in the last two weeks.

I stay home the day of the interview so I can prepare myself (I am afforded as much job hunt related flex-time as I need). However, I spectacularly under estimate how nervous I'm going to get. This becomes quite evident as I sit in the waiting room sweating beads. Let me be more specific...it's over 100 degrees outside so it's more like a flop-sweat, I'm wearing a suit and the previous, 20-something-male interview before me comes out looking fresh as a daisy.

I swallow hard as I realize I'm in real trouble here. As I drive home it hits me hard that I really am leaving.