Blissfully, the good-bye lunch was uneventful. Really uneventful. Nice food, very sweet presents and heartfelt cards, but nothing from my director. "Guilt! Table for one!" Was it really that awkward? She stood at the back door while people left like David Spade as that airline steward on Saturday Night Live, "buh, bye...uh, buh, bye" They really should train people for these situations. I guess it's too much to ask to have some people act like regular humans when they need to.
On my way back to the office, I had to pick up a new parking permit as my new assignment is clear across the complex. And as it is in the universe, sometimes you just score. I was telling the clerk my sad story - the abbreviated version, of course - and she gave me the rarest parking permit there is, the Willy Wonka golden ticket of parking permits, the coveted 19 Red. Did you hear that? Every time I say it I hear angels singing. I thanked her, took the permit and skipped back to my car.
Even though it was a small victory, it was the first in the past few, dark weeks. I decided not to tempt the fates. I had just witnessed balance in the universe, no matter how lopsided. I decided to celebrate my triumph and thank the gods by driving through Starbucks on the way back. I ordered the frothiest, sweetest, mocha, full caf, extra cream, venti calorie drink I could. I took my time getting back to the office. It was liberating! I know I'm a little slow on the uptake, but what are they going to do? FIRE ME?
OK, next time....decaf.