Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Down to the Wire

Wednesday, 24 hours left

Today I run around like a chicken with my head cut off. I have to cancel my final check being cut because I will now be continuing in another department. And guess what? Payroll is majorly annoyed! It's all I can do not scream "get over it!" into the phone. I learned long ago, the two groups of people you never want to irritate at any job are the payroll clerks and the maintenance crew. Unless you like working with a lot of duct tape around your office.

On top of everything else, I have to go to HR (hellish and rude?) and sign papers and then it's off to the most dreaded thing of all, the good-bye lunch. I managed to have it moved to a much more casual place, instead of the large restaurant originally planned. I wanted lots of activity and noise, to disguise the inevitable awkward silences. We had all been to one of these for a co-worker just a month earlier and I our supervisor said nothing. I don't mean, she was quiet, I mean she actually never mentioned her leaving. No "thanks, we'll miss you!" or "Sorry you have to go.." Nada, zip, crickets. It was as if we all mysteriously went to lunch on the same day at the same place by some freakish coincidence.

HR (hilarious ridiculousness?) tries to help me figure out my retirement contributions, and she says, “Do you want me to give you an estimate of your benefits?” "Sure!" I say, as she moves her phone from her side of the desk to mine and dials a number. On the speaker I hear the automated system I always use. Is she kidding? I tell her I can do that at home not to worry. Later we are talking about what I'll need to do if I end up leaving in December because I can't afford to work part time for very long. Ever the helpful one, she offers, "Would you like me to give you an idea of what your paycheck will be?" I eye her suspiciously, "sure..." and she proceeds to her computer, pulls the same payroll screen I can access, and then turns to me and says, "OK, now go ahead and log-in ."

And I'm the one that got laid off.


Charlene said...

That is hysterical - tho' more fun reading than going through it I'm sure!

kitty moore said...

Very accurate description of HR - utterly useless!