Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Supermarkets are Evil

Saturday and Sunday

Determined not to repeat my previous supermarket meltdown, I pull into the parking lot, square off, and hike up the waistband on my sweatpants. I can do this. I pass through the sliding glass door and down the first aisle. I don't know what is is but something happens to me when confronted with thousands of retail reminders of my cash flow (or soon to be lack thereof). Then I go into this strange stream of consciousness thought mode. "Wow, pork chops are on sale. Probably won't be able to stock up as much as I would like. Crackers, I should get crackers. Generic crackers. What do I get when I can't afford generic crackers? Panko bread crumbs? Maybe I can just mix them in with the margarine, spoon it out and call it a day." Before I realize it I'm hyperventilating and my heart is pounding, and by the look of the mother across the aisle, I'm scaring small children.

I leave the cart mid-aisle, grab the paper and go through the checkout line with my sunglasses on. Like that is going to deflect the bad vibes from the canned goods. Foil...what about tin foil....OMG! I'm that woman!


glitterfaith said...

On a risk of sounding like my mother - did you make a list of what you really needed? Have fun blogging

plainolebob said...

man thet is my problem all the time, always fergittin sumthin, Bess gits pissed, and i do back to git it. Kinda like the cucmbers and sprite thing.

Anonymous said...

Never make a list. lists are evil, they stifle the personality and the imagination.

Besides, you never write beer on the list, you get to that aisle and its a case of: "Oh I am so confused....!"

Don't list, they have groups for people who list. "Hello, my name is Argentum and i haven't....." you know what i mean.


sam said...

oh my gosh i laughed so hard reading this blog post. the scaring small children part really did me in. you're right way better than cats!

LookingForNormal said...

Makes you feel like your nuts huh. I agree with the list they are sure to make you feel like a failure. lol. I say as long as we dont for get our kids were doing good. Guess what I've done more than once. Put all the kids in, oh I'm finally on my way home. Seatbelts secured, drive off, and all these weird people pointing and honking at me. Flip them the bird. Daughter says "mom did you get milk this time" Pull over and sure enough I got it and its on the roof of the car. Please forgive me all of you that I flipped off.