Saturday, October 10, 2009

Mental Flab

Wednesday, 12 days left

We're out of milk and need to go to the store and we all know how that's going to turn out. I've realized that my stream-of-consciousness-inner-voice is my new best friend at the supermarket. At least until the men in the white coats show up. I go down the frozen aisle and look at the frozen pizza. I could deliver pizza. Can they fit my BMW with one of those lighted signs? That's some classy pizza. Yep, I'm going to be the classiest unemployed person in town. At least I won't be stressed out as much anymore. I need to keep my edge though, everyone is stressed out. Can't get all relaxed and mentally flabby. I could dress up in my suit and take my briefcase in to Starbucks (until my gift card runs out) and then go home and drink it. I need to have that frazzled look around 4PM. Hmmm, I could go to the post office and stand in line just to buy one stamp. No, wait.. The DMV! That would do it. That will fry your brain any time. Then, when I'm in the check out line and the clerk says, "I am SOOOO glad it's Friday, how about you?" I can say with conviction, "Whoo yeah, you know it!" It's like one of those science fiction movies where they check the lines on your palms to make sure you're really human. Must fit in....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious stuff! None of it lost on me. Found you through WSJ's Laid off and Looking (how pathetic is that?) Or, how pathetic is it that I get everything you're saying?

Great stuff..I love it. Thanks for the laughs, not losing your sense of humor...I think this'll make a great , funny book sometime.

I know..I know...too soon to laugh yet.